Well, the news is pretty good. Yesterday, I had my appointment with the Early Psychosis program and the Psychiatrist has found that I'm not schizophrenic, but rather have a psychosis issue that should be manageable (if not curable).
It's amazing how our society's need for labels has pressed several on to me... incorrectly.
The roller coaster that we go on when we start to investigate the human mind is incredibly hard because of our label dependent society, the time between appointments, the stigma placed around any sort of mental illness, and our own nightmares.
There is a very good reason for the stigma to exist, but an even better reason to come to grips with it and put it to rest.
Let me explain.
The stigma around mental illness comes in several stages. First, we have our connection to the person in question who is having a hard time and we see him going through all of the process of figuring out what may or may not be wrong with them. Secondly, no matter how much we care about the person, our subconscious makes us worry about the time when our own brains may fail us. Thirdly, there is the confusion created by the system because of the confusion around the brain... it's the chicken and the egg problem all over again... Our best scientists don't have a full understanding of the inner-workings of the brain. So when one of us has a broken brain, and we see a myriad of counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, receptionists, and computer systems in order to figure out the problem, it is still incredibly difficult. Now add our incessant and indecent need to label everyone and everything (including ourselves!!!) and a scary situation is made even worse.
Understanding where the stigma comes from should lead us to a way to slowly improve it, and maybe even reduce it to the point that it's a thought process instead of a dark cloud that hangs over mental health in the most unhelpful and damaging manner.
As human beings, we pride ourselves in being about to think above "the other animals". We have tools, technology, and toys and we thrive to learn more. Let's strip the stigma bare.
31 July, 2013
24 July, 2013
The "Keeping Busy" Project
Keeping busy is easy... keeping busy in a productive way is a little harder...
Fortunately, I'm a writer so my work-related research is also incredibly fun. I follow any current news story that interests me and write up an article. I'm curious about a phenomenon I've seen and I write up an article. Someone asks me how to do something and I write up an article.
This is a very young project as I just started in January, but I'm starting to get published in a few publications and self-published in a few more. One item on my Bucket List was to be published by the age of 30... three years late, it was achieved...
Victories like this and being asked to do more from people I respect - Both are helping me get through this process of waiting for the full diagnosis. My training for City2Surf is going well but hit a slump with a sore calf after some particularly good training runs.
The ongoing soreness in my leg and the seemingly endless rain Alberta is getting is not helping, but fortunately I have an amazing family and my best friend who help bolster me when I'm in a low swing. We have a lot of fun when we're together, so that is a major plus in my favour.
I, also, recently had an epiphany earlier this month that, while I'm constantly reading, it's almost all online. I've been re-reading favourite books on an irregular timeline and many books I've started to read have been left around the house, unfinished. Part of this "Keeping Busy" project is to get rid of all of the collected rabble from the two years I've lived hear and about a decade previous to the last time I did this. It's taking FOREVER!!! This is because of my certainty that if I do it quickly, I'll throw out something I'll want in the future.
The thing is, I have a very small apartment and I spend most of my time in my living room... appropriate?
I never think that I'm a collector or a clutter bug until I realize that my three closets/storage rooms are rarely accessed because everything I actually use is out. In my one room apartment, I use my dining room table but often work, eat, and sleep on the couch as I often fall asleep watching Netflix... I cancelled cable sometime last year.
Since I've been craving the minimalist lifestyle for an indeterminate number of months, it's time to make the final push. Anything I haven't used this year must go - except for anything with true sentimental value. Any book I read will be sent out to Fair is Fair books. Here it goes...
Fortunately, I'm a writer so my work-related research is also incredibly fun. I follow any current news story that interests me and write up an article. I'm curious about a phenomenon I've seen and I write up an article. Someone asks me how to do something and I write up an article.
This is a very young project as I just started in January, but I'm starting to get published in a few publications and self-published in a few more. One item on my Bucket List was to be published by the age of 30... three years late, it was achieved...
Victories like this and being asked to do more from people I respect - Both are helping me get through this process of waiting for the full diagnosis. My training for City2Surf is going well but hit a slump with a sore calf after some particularly good training runs.
The ongoing soreness in my leg and the seemingly endless rain Alberta is getting is not helping, but fortunately I have an amazing family and my best friend who help bolster me when I'm in a low swing. We have a lot of fun when we're together, so that is a major plus in my favour.
I, also, recently had an epiphany earlier this month that, while I'm constantly reading, it's almost all online. I've been re-reading favourite books on an irregular timeline and many books I've started to read have been left around the house, unfinished. Part of this "Keeping Busy" project is to get rid of all of the collected rabble from the two years I've lived hear and about a decade previous to the last time I did this. It's taking FOREVER!!! This is because of my certainty that if I do it quickly, I'll throw out something I'll want in the future.
The thing is, I have a very small apartment and I spend most of my time in my living room... appropriate?
I never think that I'm a collector or a clutter bug until I realize that my three closets/storage rooms are rarely accessed because everything I actually use is out. In my one room apartment, I use my dining room table but often work, eat, and sleep on the couch as I often fall asleep watching Netflix... I cancelled cable sometime last year.
Since I've been craving the minimalist lifestyle for an indeterminate number of months, it's time to make the final push. Anything I haven't used this year must go - except for anything with true sentimental value. Any book I read will be sent out to Fair is Fair books. Here it goes...
22 July, 2013
Positive Escapism?
I think my time is about up...
Since I received the primary report from the psychologists, I've been indulging in escapism ranging from TV, fantasy novels, movie-marathons, and food binges. I haven't been sleeping particularly well and I've been hiding from the world.
Obviously, this is not good as a whole... but I'm hoping it's understandable. I'm blogging about this journey to help with breaking the stigma around mental illness (no matter what my final diagnosis is) so this never-ending-seeming waiting period is part of the journey.
So now that I've woken up to the notion that some of this has not been healthy, it's time to do something about it.
- More training for the City2Surf in Sydney, Australia (Only a couple weeks to go!!!)
- More reading
- More spending time with other people
- Following my schedule instead of drifting from one thing to another
- Less time watching various media videos
- Less time playing games
I know that a certain amount of escapism was necessary as I couldn't focus on anything I was trying to accomplish and I've spent more time crying in the last month than I have in my life. But now it's time to pick myself up off the mat and distract myself with some good, honest work.
Since I received the primary report from the psychologists, I've been indulging in escapism ranging from TV, fantasy novels, movie-marathons, and food binges. I haven't been sleeping particularly well and I've been hiding from the world.
Obviously, this is not good as a whole... but I'm hoping it's understandable. I'm blogging about this journey to help with breaking the stigma around mental illness (no matter what my final diagnosis is) so this never-ending-seeming waiting period is part of the journey.
So now that I've woken up to the notion that some of this has not been healthy, it's time to do something about it.
- More training for the City2Surf in Sydney, Australia (Only a couple weeks to go!!!)
- More reading
- More spending time with other people
- Following my schedule instead of drifting from one thing to another
- Less time watching various media videos
- Less time playing games
I know that a certain amount of escapism was necessary as I couldn't focus on anything I was trying to accomplish and I've spent more time crying in the last month than I have in my life. But now it's time to pick myself up off the mat and distract myself with some good, honest work.
I hate waiting...
I have an appointment with the Early Psychosis program at the Rockyview Hospital so the wait to the next step is coming along. I have a wonderful network of supportive people who are helping me through this confusion. I have crazy mood swings so there are lots of times that I'm not sure what's going on.
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