The Icarus Factor

As he flew with his waxen wings, he felt exhilarated, powerful!

"I can do anything!  I have harnessed the wind under me and I can see the Earth below"

He cried with joy and laughed that his father said it couldn't be done

He was in arrogant lust of accomplishment and he revelled in it

But as he flew closer to the sun, he realized he hadn't heeded the advice he should have;

"Son, don't fly too close to that golden sphere or it may cost you dear"

The wings started to drip, he started to slip, and Icarus fell from the heavens with a final cry of good-bye!

- MRK

The Icarus Factor is part of the every day experience for me - a calculation I use when deciding on a course of action - based on the Grecian myth.  Icarus was the son of Daedalus, the craftsman who built the maze that imprisoned the minotaur conquered by Theseus.  It's that feeling of joy when I start excelling in something I didn't think I'd be able to do as well as the knowledge that if I got too far with it, I could fail.  It's the cycle of hope, excitement, dread, and understanding of the past as it pertains to my current situation.  Since I don't understand feelings or thought processes the same way that non-NLD people do, I often use common myths, metaphors, and similes in order to explain what might make more sense to someone outside my head.  Unfortunately, this is sometimes unsuccessful because of the "Smarty Pants" effect... I have a great vocabulary and a good knowledge of a wide range of subjects including mythology and that seems to annoy some people... so my effort to be helpful is reacted to with anger like "What the hell are you talking about?!" or impatience because my "shorthand" explanation took more time and didn't work.

If I had said "I feel like the sword of Damocles is over my head", would that have made more sense?

And then it's down the rabbit hole with my worries about being normal, failure that I'm facing an angry person, agitation because now they're in more of a rush, feelings of hatred towards the education system because "everyone should know about Icarus and Damocles"...and meanwhile, my hands are stiffening up because the person I was talking to is trying to make me move faster than I am capable...

THAT is the Icarus Factor.