Slow of Speech - Not Slow of Mind

When people hear you have a disability, they speak slowly to you... or the area around you... or the person standing next to you... It's what I call the "Therapists' Voice"

It doesn't matter that people like me have an amazing vocabulary and our depth of understanding of any topic that interests us can be the same or deeper than people without this life situation.  Incidentally, I call it a "life situation" more often than I call it a disability or problem because my NLD has both positive and negative sides to it - and it is a lifelong situation, not something that can be helped with an artificial limb or laser surgery.

I try not to blame people for using the Therapists' Voice when speaking to me as they are trying to be helpful.  They don't understand how insulting it is and they want to be kind.

It's true, I speak somewhat slowly and have a naturally low voice.  I enunciate my words - partially because I loath how many people don't; partially because I have so many thoughts running through my head, I have to concentrate to get the sentence out (especially if I'm under stress or am annoyed).

Here's an interesting analogy:

When I was in a class recently, we were reading parts of a manual aloud to each other.

It was a very repetitive text and my attention was waning.

When it was my turn, I enthusiastically read my paragraph - I truly enjoy reading out loud to others.

But this chapter was boring - and repetitive

I finished reading and the group had an emotional shift that I felt and they laughed.

I looked around for a clue as to why they were laughing...

Apparently, I had drifted off at the end of the final sentence without noticing.

That line had been repeated so many times, I guess I just stopped.

Later in the program, some of my classmates retold the story and it ended up being something we could laugh about together.

Please remember that there are lots of different life situations people face and rarely do they call for the Therapists' Voice.  Instead, speak normally and ask questions.  If you're not sure how to communicate with ANYONE - ask questions.  Don't assume - ask que............

The Icarus Factor

As he flew with his waxen wings, he felt exhilarated, powerful!

"I can do anything!  I have harnessed the wind under me and I can see the Earth below"

He cried with joy and laughed that his father said it couldn't be done

He was in arrogant lust of accomplishment and he revelled in it

But as he flew closer to the sun, he realized he hadn't heeded the advice he should have;

"Son, don't fly too close to that golden sphere or it may cost you dear"

The wings started to drip, he started to slip, and Icarus fell from the heavens with a final cry of good-bye!

- MRK

The Icarus Factor is part of the every day experience for me - a calculation I use when deciding on a course of action - based on the Grecian myth.  Icarus was the son of Daedalus, the craftsman who built the maze that imprisoned the minotaur conquered by Theseus.  It's that feeling of joy when I start excelling in something I didn't think I'd be able to do as well as the knowledge that if I got too far with it, I could fail.  It's the cycle of hope, excitement, dread, and understanding of the past as it pertains to my current situation.  Since I don't understand feelings or thought processes the same way that non-NLD people do, I often use common myths, metaphors, and similes in order to explain what might make more sense to someone outside my head.  Unfortunately, this is sometimes unsuccessful because of the "Smarty Pants" effect... I have a great vocabulary and a good knowledge of a wide range of subjects including mythology and that seems to annoy some people... so my effort to be helpful is reacted to with anger like "What the hell are you talking about?!" or impatience because my "shorthand" explanation took more time and didn't work.

If I had said "I feel like the sword of Damocles is over my head", would that have made more sense?

And then it's down the rabbit hole with my worries about being normal, failure that I'm facing an angry person, agitation because now they're in more of a rush, feelings of hatred towards the education system because "everyone should know about Icarus and Damocles"...and meanwhile, my hands are stiffening up because the person I was talking to is trying to make me move faster than I am capable...

THAT is the Icarus Factor.

Call for research

While this will be a blog focussing on my research and experiences with NLD, I welcome any contribution. What is it about us who have this condition/affliction/disorder... we excel in vocabulary, reading, rote memory and can gain a certain measure of success like graduating from university and becoming published authors... and yet, I am continually confused by social interaction that is easily understood by others.  I am highly intelligent and am gifted in verbal pursuits, yet the passage of time eludes me.  While I can do math and run an obstacle course, speed is not something that comes easily; I often stumble or injure myself.

What sort of challenges have others faced?