I don't know how to feel... so I guess I'll write.
The first step to dealing with mental illness is to get a proper diagnosis with all the tests and processes that come with that. I have gone through a few partial assessments for specific concerns but, as psychology and my condition have developed, they felt incomplete and inaccurate.
So now I have the first part of my answer... I have Schizophrenia.
Over the next while, I'll write more as the process gets rolling... but at this point, that's all I have to say.
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